Like the Distance Between Stars
by arrowsofartemis
Summary: A few years after the Promised Day, Ling Yao reigns as empror of Xing. Now, he is of marrying age, but the only person he wants is out of his reach. One-shot


Hi! This is my first FMA fic I wrote a while ago for Lingfan day on Tumblr. I was inspired to write this from historical stories from the Qing dynasty and the politics there! I hope you like it!

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Lan Fan sighed, staring at the empty corridors of the imperial corridors. Normally, they would be full, but Ling, being in a bad mood, sent most of the servants away, and only Lan Fan remained in the inner chambers of the emperor's residence. He was, in short, throwing a tantrum like a child, and as any child, locked himself up in his room. She gazed up at the intricately carved, red-stained wood and her feet shifted on top of the wooden floor beneath her foot, covered with black like the rest of her guard outfit. In these chambers, she needn't hide herself, so her mask hung off the side of her neck. Self-consciously, she put her warm hand on the cold steel of her automail arm, the deadly combat spike there ready in case the need to protect Emperor Ling was needed.

She sighed again as she could hear shuffling and muffled sounds of frustration came from the other side of the door. The thin wood and the papery coverings were nothing to block out the sounds. The young emperor had quite the argument with the imperial court. He was of age now, to take on an empress and concubines from the chiefs of the other clans that filled the country of Xing. Lan Fan had been there, but did not expect him to be…as explosive as he was. His eyes had flashed open with rage and disdain, and the controlled yet utter contempt in his voice was evident as he stared down all the officials. Lan Fan closed her eyes and sighed yet again.

Lan Fan should've been horrified at the act. Refusing to marry? That was like refusing the allegiance of the people of Xing. And yet…the young bodyguard could only feel a sort of inward relief; that Ling would not choose all the beautiful and highborn females, for the sake of—

 _For the sake of whom?_ She wondered as she closed her eyes. She cursed herself and stopped thinking of this. _For whom? You? A lowly bodyguard who hides her face behind a mask? You're kidding yourself._ Lan Fan steeled her heart yet again, knowing that her feelings would never be reciprocated.

Lan Fan's eyes snapped open as the door behind her was sliding open slightly.

Ling stuck his head out of the slim crack he opened, and shifted his eyes left to right in a comic fashion. The young bodyguard suppressed the urge to smile. No matter if Ling was an emperor, he was still a boy. And at the age of eighteen, Ling shouldered responsibilities, but there was still a hint of childhood in him. A hint of something familiar in that tilt of the head, the smile that lifted the corner of his mouth, like he was doing right now, in Lan Fan's direction.

 _But how many women will see that?_ Lan Fan jealously thought

"Lan Fan," Ling whispered harshly, "come in here."

"But my lord," Lan Fan began protesting. "This is inappro—"

"Forget it, no one will know, it's just you and me." Ling whined slightly, and without waiting for an answer, grabbed Lan Fan by her automail wrist and dragged her into his chambers, and shut the door discretely behind him.

"My lord, this is—"Lan Fan protested again, as she took in the rich decorations of the red and gold silks of the emperor.

"Lan Fan, please, give me a minute." Ling pleaded, looking at her with his black eyes stretched wide. He rubbed the back of his neat hair that was tied in a bun, jostling the small cap that was his crown. He then clenched his other hand as the wide sleeves moved against the silk of his golden robes. His thick black eye brows furrowed, and his mouth was pressing together in a line. His eyes had gone closed, as he began to gently shake his head.

"My lord, is something bothering you?" Lan Fan implored. Of course something was bothering him. And of course she knew, and Lan Fan knew _Ling_ knew what she thought was wrong, but she asked as a manner of courtesy.

"Yes Lan Fan, everything is wrong." Ling whipped his head back, eyes glistening with distress. "I don't want this, I don't want to take on concubines, I don't want to be the father of many children who will fight for the crown."

"My lord—" Lan Fan started, but Ling continued to ramble on.

"I don't want this!" He angrily gestured at everything. He then grabbed Lan Fan by the shoulders, sending a jolt of electricity down her spine. His gaze intensified, and burned like the sun at midday. "Lan Fan?"

"Yes my lord?"

"I…I don't want the daughters of the chiefs of the clans". His eyes, losing none of their intensity, still stared at her, while his voice made a gentle decrescendo.

"I just want you." His voice became determination. "Lan Fan. I love you, and I have for many years. I want you by my side forever as my empress."

Lan Fan stood stiff in shock. Never had she imagined, in her wildest dreams, that these words would come out of Ling's mouth. Ever since her childhood, she was in love with him, and to hear these words was like a fantasy coming into reality…

…and yet, she gently pulled away, taking the young emperor's hands off her shoulders, stood back and looked at him face to face.

Ling's eyes betrayed only the slightest hint of confusion. And hurt. Lan Fan swallowed, feeling a lump in her throat, and said, her voice cracking "I can't."

Ling's determination shattered, replaced by a look of complete grief, eyes stretching to their widest, not believing what he quite heard. "Wha—"

"If we do this…" Lan Fan's voice came off too quiet. _Think of yourself like your automail; cold steel, cold steel…_ Lan Fan sighed, and willed her voice to be stronger. "If we do this, not only will be betray tradition, but the trust of our people. You don't want Xing to be divided do you? And if Xing is divided, your reign as emperor will end untimely."

"Do you not…love me?" He whispered, devastated, and Lan Fan looked at his eyes and the tears formed there and could no longer look.

"I do. I always have." Lan Fan whispered back, her heart feeling like it was being severed at the look of hope he returned.

"And then—"

"But if we were to do this, with I, a bodyguard and a _cripple_ as your empress, what would the people think?" She stressed.

Ling's eyes returned to flame again. "I don't care what they think, what matters is that you and I—"

"What matters isn't you and I!" Lan Fan rudely cut Ling off, her voice rising. "What matters is the people, and if we were to do this, this would be selfish. You are an emperor Ling, you _must_ think of all your people! You…you have to let me go." Lan Fan stopped, chocked on her grief, as hot tears began to scatter her cheeks like the rain.

She looked up, only to see Ling crying as well. He moved gracefully, thick robes moving like water against his movements. He cupped her cheek, and gently wiped the traitor tears that revealed her distress…and love.

"I…understand." Ling choked out, as tears continued to stream down his face. "But know…I can't…I can't stop loving you." Then he pulled back, his face a stoic mask, as he waved her out.

"Thank you." Lan Fan said. He loved her.

Enough to let her go.

And so, they continued their days as bodyguard and emperor, and when Ling married and fathered children, the gazes they exchanged briefly was enough to see their pain.

And so, like the distance between the stars, they stayed together. They seemed so close, yet there was infinite amount of distance between them that no one could cross.

And so they remained.

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Thanks for reading! It would mean so much if you reviewed and help me improve!


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